DUSTY CARR DENIES DUMPING URINE ON BRITNEY

- Singer says 'nobody can prove nothing!' - By Carl Sachs Euro GmbH Media Press Writer March 21, 2002, 9:14 PM UTC/GMT Los Angeles, CA - Yesterday evening, while filming a TV advertisement in downtown Los Angeles, pop star Britney Spears was showered with buckets of urine supposedly thrown by local residents, outraged by the late-night noise and commotion (see related story here ). However, it was discovered this morning, through eyewitness accounts, that cult entertainer Dusty Carr may have been directly responsible for the barrage of waste material that sent the pop diva squealing into her trailer.

Carr and Spears: Before the Deluge

Carr, who had been invited to appear along side Spears in a TV advertisement for the upcoming rockumentary 'Pop Top' was seen drinking heavily throughout the evening. At one point, he was videotaped attempting to rip hair off his forearms, complaining, "It weighs too much and makes me sluggish!" Carr also told assistant director Stanley Roach, "William Shatner's toupee is a terrible, living thing that must be stopped before it grows anymore!"

Witnesses report Carr became agitated as the session was delayed, mostly due to Spear's inability to remember her dialogue. At approximately 1 am, Carr was seen stumbling from the set, falling across a parked car, and then careening into a nearby building. Shortly after, cinematographer Greg Toland reported seeing "a tall, solitary, wobbling figure standing on the roof a building that was directly behind Britney's sound stage. Then this guy raised a bucket in the air and let it go. He did it again and again. God knows where he got all the piss. I just know that everybody, including most of the technicians, started to cheer like mad. If it was Dusty Carr who did it, then God bless him, he's a hero to me."

When questioned by police, Carr said, "Nobody can prove nothing. That's all I have to say. Look, if you mess with my precious time, then you mess with me. Time is divine baby. So don't get stupid and sloppy."

Rhonda Cogan, a spokesperson for Britney Spears said the star had found new courage in trying to overcome the shame of being deluged with human waste. "It will make her a better person, though the faraway look in her eyes is somewhat unsettling. And she's started to hum a lot to herself."

Earlier in the week, Spears was criticized for visiting various Los Angeles nightclubs with Carr. Many claimed her association with the violent, temperamental Carr was an overt strategy of adding depth to her pristine image.

According to the Los Angeles Police, the case remains open.