Reviewed by: Dusty Carr
Review Date: January 29, 2002
Director: Ron Howard
Producers: Brian Grazer, Ron Howard
Genre: Drama

Starring:

PLOT:
A guy that's really good in math becomes as crazy as Jerry Lewis on amphetamines, and in the process meets and marries an incredible looking woman.

THE REVIEW:
I didn't want to see 'A Beautiful Mind' because it's all about mental illness and math - two things that not only go together, but make me very uncomfortable. However, Jennifer Connelly's in the film, and in my estimation she's more beautiful than Ursula Andress seen through the warm haze of ten vodkas - so it's not a complete waste.

There's not much of a plot here - probably because it's based on a real-life story, and in real life most people don't get murdered or pursued in a high-speed car chase - the essence of which rates as 'great entertainment' for the majority of pinheads who attend Hollywood movies. Basically, a poorly dressed guy, John Nash (played by a chunky Russell Crowe) attends Harvard in the late 1940s, begins having schizophrenic delusions and invents a groundbreaking math theory. Eventually, Nash becomes a professor, teaches at Harvard (which helps to explain why most of my math teachers were deeply troubled individuals), and begins to do the wild thing with Jennifer Connelly, who is one of his students. (I thought that teacher-student thing was illegal - at least in the Southern states).

Okay, the first thing that bugs my ass: Why must crazy people in movies always receive haircuts that are so bad they look like Donald Trump dragged through a hedge backwards? And are we to believe that the rubber-room crowd can't buy ordinary shirts and pants? Just because someone has 'delusions' doesn't mean they can't visit a decent barber or pick up an Egyptian cloth suit.

Biggest question of the film: Why oh sweet mother why is Jennifer Connelly attracted to this guy? First of all, he looks like a chunky version of Russell Crowe, has the required rotten haircut, and dresses like he picked clothes off the back of a corpse. Women as beautiful as Connelly mate with men who are rich - it's that simple baby. They do not pursue really weird guys who are good in math. In fact, the only man in the world with a terrible haircut who is good in math and could easily mate with Jennifer Connelly is Bill Gates. That's it.

Next Big Question: By now it's no secret that in terms of sexuality, the Nash-mesiter played two decks of cards. This movie is being promoted as "based on a true story", yet there's no mention that he was the Ziggy Stardust of advanced calculus. Why is that? Was director Ron Howard (bless his little Ritchie Cunningham heart} too damn jittery with the fact that Nash swung more than a chandelier in an earthquake? I don't know - but it irritates the hell out of me when Hollywood tries to disinfect that which was never dirty.

Finally, everybody is talking about Russell Crowe's performance as the best thing to hit the silver screen since Brando had a last tango in Paris. Why is it that in order to be taken seriously as a screen actor (think Oscars) must someone portray a person who is suffering from a mental handicap? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest… Rainman... Awakenings... Shine…. I could go on but I'm expecting company any moment and trying hard to remember her name. Why not just portray a guy that's really angry, or really happy, or a really good driver? Why must he always be nuts? Crazy people are scary, they're not entertaining.

THE BOTTOM LINE:
Ron Howard doesn't possess the intellectual depth to make a film about a depressed hamster let alone a math genius, so everything - including his subject matter - is dumbed-down. If this movie had any balls it would have been called 'A Scared, Sick, Twisted Mind', but then it would have sunk faster than Tony Danza's career. If you want to see fluff disguised as art, check it out. But remember, art disguised as fluff is really what lasts.

© 2002 IMC Communications Inc.